Watch Me Disappear

In Janelle Brown’s Watch Me Disappear (2017), a mystery with thriller elements, a local woman disappears and everyone assumes that she is dead. However, her daughter has visions that she’s still alive and sets out to discover the truth. Critics praise the book for its exploration of the stories we tell ourselves about our loved ones, and how we often don’t know people as well as we think. A New York Times bestselling author, Brown typically writes about dysfunctional families, and her books are usually set in California.

Set in Berkeley, California, Watch Me Disappear, centers on the Flanagans, a local wealthy family. One year ago, Mrs. Billie Flanagan set out on a solo hike around Desolation Wilderness, and she never came home. All that’s left of her is a hiking boot that someone found on the trail. Given the evidence, Billie is presumed dead.

Billie left behind her husband, Jonathan, and her daughter, Olive. Jonathan, a writer, can’t cope without Billie. Angry and self-centered, he drinks heavily, never asking Olive how she’s feeling. Olive retreats into herself. She doesn’t go out and stops seeing her friends. All the while, Jonathan ignores how she’s feeling, drinking himself into a stupor most nights.



One day, Olive has a strange vision of her mother. She is convinced that her mother is still alive and walking around California. However, Jonathan dismisses her claim, telling her she’s in denial and that Billie is dead. Olive refuses to accept this. She claims that since no one ever found Billie’s body, no one knows for sure that she’s dead. She decides to pursue the truth on her own.

Finally, Jonathan recognizes that he is neglecting Olive. If he doesn’t stop drinking, he can’t look out for her properly. He tries to cut back on drinking to pay more attention to his daughter’s welfare. However, the more she claims that Billie is still alive, the more Jonathan thinks she might need psychiatric help. What’s more, he needs Billie’s life insurance money to make ends meet. He has stopped working on his novels and he’s running out of money.

After thinking it over, Jonathan decides to investigate Billie’s disappearance himself. He knows that he’s being ridiculous because she must be dead, but there is one thing that has always bothered him. Billie was an open woman who didn’t keep any secrets, but she password-protected one file on her computer. Jonathan has always wondered what’s in the file, and without telling Olive, he tries to figure it out.



In the meantime, Olive thinks back on what she knows about Billie. She knows that Billie grew up in a strict family and ran away as a teenager. She became an environmental activist, which is how she met Jonathan. They married after a six-week relationship and had Olive soon after. Olive knows that her mother is unpredictable and free-spirited, which makes her wonder if Billie disappeared…or if she’s only playing dead.

Jonathan admits that he thinks there’s more to Billie’s disappearance than meets the eye. He tells Olive that he believes her that Billie might be alive. Together, they work to uncover the truth. Knowing that it sounds crazy, they don’t tell their friends or other relatives. Until they know more, the investigation is their little secret.

Meanwhile, their neighbor, Harmony, gets closer to Jonathan. Billie’s best friend, she has always fancied Jonathan; she wonders if he’s ready to move on. Olive doesn’t like Harmony hanging around distracting Jonathan from what’s important. She also doesn’t like the idea of Jonathan moving on so quickly from Billie’s supposed death.



In the background, Olive’s friends worry about how she’s coping. Her best friend, Natalie, on finding out that Olive is a lesbian, wonders if this is the reason why Olive is so quiet all the time. She tells Olive that it’s okay to be a lesbian, but then she tells everyone else about Olive’s sexuality before Olive has the chance. Feels that everyone is against her, Olive misses Billie more than ever.

Jonathan discovers worrying truths about Billie. He cracks the password to the protected file and learns that she has an illegitimate daughter. Both Jonathan and Olive know that if Billie kept such a huge secret from them, then she’s capable of hiding other things—including the truth behind her disappearance.

Finally, Jonathan uncovers what happened to Billie. She isn’t dead, but only pretending to be. She bought a Danish passport from the dark web, and now she is probably somewhere in Denmark. Billie and Jonathan can’t understand why Billie did this to them, but now, they know it is time to move on with their lives without her.