“He […] exhorted me, with his dying breath, to continue in the good old way, to follow his steps, and those of his father before him, and let my highest ambition be, to walk honestly through the world, looking neither to the right hand nor to the left, and to transmit the paternal acres to my children in, at least, as flourishing a condition as he left them to me.”

This advice from Gilbert’s dying father to him is one of the rare instances of positive paternal guidance in the novel. It also suggests that Gilbert might wish for more than a life as a gentleman farmer, a role passed to him by an English system of inheritance based on primogeniture. Keeping his duty, upholding his responsibilities, and caring for his family are defined here as the values of the English gentleman. These values are noticeably lacking in the characters of Huntingdon’s set.

“If you would have your son to walk honourably through the world, you must not attempt to clear the stones from his path, but teach him to talk firmly over them—not insist upon leading him by the hand, but let him learn to go alone.”

Speaking to the theme of education, Gilbert’s family protest that Mrs. Graham’s protectiveness of her young son, Arthur, will not fit the boy for success in the world. Gilbert’s admonishment to her emphasizes self-reliance and personal responsibility as a moral virtue. How a man or woman deals with temptations and obstacles is a concern throughout the novel.

“I would not send a poor girl into the world unarmed against her foes, and ignorant of the snares that beset her path; nor would I watch and guard her, till, deprived of self-respect and self-reliance, she lost the power, or the will, to watch and guard herself.”

When the Markhams claim that shielding her son from the world’s vices will turn Arthur into a milksop, that is to say not masculine, Mrs. Graham argues that ignorance is no way to raise a girl, either. Helen challenges Mrs. Markham’s conventional ideas about gender education and instead argues that both boys and girls should be equipped to deal with the moral snares and corruptions of the world, which reflects the novel’s preoccupation with gender equality.