On April 15, high school sophomores Lorraine Jensen and John Conlan begin recording the facts about what happened between them and Mr. Angelo Pignati. They borrow the librarian’s typewriter, telling her they need it to type an English book report. They vow to tell the truth.

John, a sophomore at Franklin High School, begins his narration by stating that he does not like school, which is how he and Lorraine became involved with a person they call “the Pigman” (2). In ninth grade, John earned the nickname "the Bathroom Bomber” (2) because he used to hide out in the bathroom and set off firecrackers. He never got caught because boys smoking in the bathroom were always blamed for the crime. Having become legendary for his pranks, John once organized what he called the “colossal fruit roll” (2) on days when they had a substitute teacher. Students stole apples from the lunchroom, and when the teacher turned their back to the room, all the students rolled their apples across the floor at once, making a thunderous sound.

John says he has given up pranks in his sophomore year, and the only crime he commits at school is writing on the desks.