The overall narrative of The Life We Bury, and many of the character’s individual narratives, demonstrate the impossibility of escaping one’s past. Lila finds it impossible to avoid her past when the “slob” accosts her with her old nickname (“Nasty Nash”) when she’s at a bar with Joe. Joe can't unburden himself of his familial past. Andy is confronted with his past (and his past lies) when Lila and Joe show up to ask him about Crystal. Even Daniel’s criminal past catches up with him.

The book’s title speaks to this theme. The use of the word “we” implies a universality, suggesting that all people have experiences to bury. These could be traumatic experiences, such as a rape, war, or death of a close relative. The "life we bury" is likely the event that helped shape us as a person, however. To bury these parts means living as an incomplete person, and therefore, living an incomplete life. Carl identifies the need to live life fully when he tells Joe, “This is our heaven. We are surrounded every day by the wonders of life, wonders beyond comprehension that we simply take for granted. I decided that I would live my life—not simply exist” (195).