Chapter 20 focuses on Pausch’s father and how Pausch learned a surprising truth about his dad after his death. While searching through his dad’s things, Pausch “came upon mysteries that made [him] smile” (94). While leafing through a pile of documents, Pausch found a citation for “heroic achievement” from when his father was in the army. He had risked his own life to administer medical attention to wounded soldiers and because of his actions, “all the wounded were evacuated successfully” (96). For his heroism, Pausch’s dad was awarded the Bronze Star for valor. This revelation became an intense experience in humility for Pausch.

Chapter 21 describes Jai’s frank treatment of Pausch. Even though Pausch drives her crazy with his annoying habits around the house—such as not putting dishes away–their therapist encourages them to let the little stuff go, in order to enjoy the time they have left together. As a result, “Jai tries to focus on today, rather than the negative things down the road” (99). She tells Pausch that she has “four very good reasons to suck it up and keep going” (100). She seeks support from other people whose spouses have terminal illnesses and strives to focus on happier memories.