Content Warning: This book depicts suicide and self-harm and features characters grieving the death of a family member. There are also references to controversial mental health treatments such as electroshock therapy.

The novel begins with Conrad Jarrett lying in bed at home, exactly a month after he was released from a psychiatric hospital. His old posters and pictures were removed, and the walls were painted a shade of blue that Conrad calls an “anxious color.” His anxiety is overwhelming, and he has trouble getting out of bed. His doctor, Dr. Crawford, warned him to expect a few bad days.

Conrad hears his father calling for him, which motivates him to get up and start getting ready for the day. When he looks in the mirror, he is dismayed to see that his “face, chalk-white, is plagued with a weird, constantly erupting rash” (3) and his hair, which he cut haphazardly the week before coming home, still hasn’t grown out much. He gets dressed and does his best to look “normal.”

Conrad overhears his parents’ murmurs from across the house, which Conrad notes is “[t]oo big for three people” (4). Though he can’t understand what they’re saying, he is certain it isn’t about him: His family won’t admit that there is a problem with any of them.