Nurtureshock: New Thinking About Children

NurtureShock: New Thinking about Children by co-authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman is a work of non-fiction structured as a series of distinct chapters about old science or research done on child development, and the way that new research undermines or overrides this old way of thinking. The book takes on subjects such as the faulty practice of testing children for abnormally high intelligence in kindergarten, racial issues and the formation of an understanding of race and racism, and why kids lie. Each chapter presents an old belief system before offering information that casts doubt on those systems using new research, statistics, methodologies, and psychological studies. The overall purpose of the book is to inform parents and educators about new information to help them rethink some of the methods they are using or thinking about using to raise their children.

In the chapter “The Inverse Power of Praise,” Merryman and Bronson begin by revealing that praise, which many kids are raised on because their parents want to encourage them and help them establish self-confidence, is actually not as effective as parents may think. Merryman and Bronson argue that raising kids to take pride in something they fear they can't control, such as their intelligence, is damaging to them because they to fear that making a mistake will make them seem unintelligent. A study also shows that many kids think that being praised by a teacher actually means they are less capable; they interpret that praise as meaning that they need more encouragement because they are not as talented or “smart” as other kids.

In the chapter, “The Lost Hour,” Merryman and Bronson describe the significant impact of a single lost hour of sleep on child development and adolescent brain capacity. The authors communicate some misconceptions that many white parents have about talking about race with their kids in “Why White Parents Don't Talk About Race.” While parents may fear that talking about race with their kids will force them to see the races as distinct and separate, studies show that kids do notice race and its differences; not being guided toward a clearer understanding can cause kids to draw their own conclusions, for better or worse. Another study indicates that only 8 percent of white children have a friend of another racial background, meaning that without parents' help, most kids won't experience the world outside their own race.



Other chapters deal with how children are shaped by their relationships with others. In “Why Kids Lie,” Merryman and Bronson reveal that kids aren't trying to get away with anything; instead, they are afraid of disappointing their parents and making them upset. To help kids with the habit to stop lying,  they encourage parents to tell their children that they value honesty and that honesty makes them happy. In “The Sibling Effect,” Merryman and Bronson examine the lasting relationship and affect that siblings can have on each other, and how it shapes child development.

Other chapters include information about teen angst and rebellion, the development of mechanisms in the brain that teach children to talk, the idea of self-control and whether or not kids can learn it, and why some kids are better at playing well with others than other kids – and, where those ideas come from. Overall, the book's message is that our understanding of kids might not be as clear as we once imagined; we have to offer kids a different kind of support than we might have received in order to better guarantee their success. The book relies primarily on peer-reviewed studies to prove arguments, and offers a strong statistical background to these issues, so parents don't have to rely on hearsay and the opinions of other parents.

Po Bronson is a journalist who has written for dozens of prominent newspapers and magazines in the United States. He has also written a few novels and narrative non-fiction. Ashley Merryman is also a journalist, with a focus on psychology. Bronson and Merryman contributed a number of articles on parenting to New York Magazine, many of which are the foundation for this collaborative book. For their work, the pair won a Clarion Award, a Mensa Award, and a journalism award from the American Association for the Advancement of Science.