“There is no truth in it whatever. It is disobedient to reason. Is it not better to have what you do not love than to love what you do not have?” 

In the first short story of the collection, Mrs. Spring Fragrance, Mr. Spring Fragrance overhears his wife quoting Tennyson’s lines, “Tis better to have loved and lost, [t]han never to have loved at all” (9). Mrs. Spring Fragrance is trying to comfort her heartbroken friend, but her husband does not understand the context and assumes that his wife is unhappy in their arranged marriage.

When he gets his neighbor to explain the lines of poetry to him, Mr. Spring Fragrance is incredulous. He doesn't understand how it would be better to pine for something out of your reach than to make peace with what you have. At that time, arranged marriages were the norm in China, but not in the United States. Whereas American marriages were mostly predicated on love, Chinese marriages were strongly governed by familial duty. Whereas an American might need to feel love before marriage, a person in an arranged marriage can find satisfaction in fulfilling their duty. This is one example of how America’s individualistic society contrasts with China’s collective society.