Ansari was given many chances to write books in the past, given his success as a comedian, but he never had any interest; until one day, something unfortunate happened: He thought things were going well with a woman named Tanya, but when he texted to invite her to a concert, she didn’t respond. This caused him to scrutinize every detail of his message, and he thought it had to be something he had done. When he shared this experience with an audience during his stand-up routine, he realized this was a very common experience. He began to question why modern romance wasn’t working, and “[t]he more [he] thought about these changes, the more [he] had to write this book” (6).

Ansari and Klinenberg “designed a massive research project, one that would require more than a year of investigation in cities across the world and involved some of the leading experts in love and romance” (7). Ansari explains the specific details of their research: Namely, he and Klinenberg “conducted focus groups and interviews” (7) with countless people throughout major cities. The people in the interviews shared photos, emails, texts, and messages from dating apps, giving Ansari and Klinenberg an intimate portrait of modern dating.