Love Warrior

In her 2016 nonfiction book Love Warrior, Glennon Doyle Melton opens up once again about her own disorders and struggles with addiction, particularly her alcoholism and bulimia. The book focuses on the slow dissolve of her marriage after her husband reveals that he has been cheating on her with other women for the entire time that they have been married. Melton vowed to get clean and get her life together for the sake of her marriage and her children. However, with the end of her marriage, Melton finds her old demons waiting in the wings to rear their ugly heads as she struggles to come to terms with the reality of her situation.

The book opens as Melton describes her wedding day. She remembers thinking about how being married to Craig would make her a better person. After a tumultuous childhood plagued with body image issues and disordered eating, Melton turns to alcohol to soothe her troubled mind. By her senior year of high school, Melton’s mental state has deteriorated to the point that she is admitted to a psychiatric institution. She is released from the institution and goes off to college, where she faces the same problems she did in high school, turning to alcohol to drown her sorrows.

It is at this point that Melton meets Craig, her future husband, and they begin dating. Melton gets pregnant but decides to have an abortion, which only causes her to sink deeper into depression and exacerbates her drinking. Her parents attempt to intervene, threatening that they will no longer be involved in her life if she continues down this path. When Melton becomes pregnant for a second time, she interprets it as a sign from God that she deserves to be a mother and that it is time for her to get sober. She calls her sister who takes her to her first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.



When Melton tells Craig that she is pregnant again and plans to keep the baby, he decides to propose. They get married, and Melton attempts to adapt her lifestyle to that of a housewife. She learns by watching commercials with housewives in them, mimicking their behavior. Shortly thereafter, Melton gives birth to a healthy baby boy whom they call Chase. However, as Chase matures, Melton feels there is an ever-expanding rift between her and Craig. Her attempts at communicating through conversation are unsuccessful, as he only seems interested in connecting through sex, which Melton cannot get into. She does her best to humor her husband, even agreeing to watch porn with him. After she does, she feels disgusted with herself and insists that he get rid of all of the pornography in the house.

Melton and Craig go on to have two more children, daughters Amma and Tish. Melton becomes a full-time stay-at-home mom. She is exhausted from single-handedly raising her children, and her resentment toward Craig continues to grow. Finding an outlet in writing, she begins to publish her posts online, which provides her with a sense of community and belonging. She receives praise regarding her writing skills.

One day, while she is writing from the family computer, she notices that Craig has downloaded pornography. She confronts him about it, and he admits not only to that but also to sleeping with other women. Shocked at the revelation, Melton tells Craig to leave their home, contemplating the effect their divorce would have on their children. Melton’s sister comes to stay with her to help care for the children in Craig’s absence, while Melton contemplates whether she should get a divorce.



By Christmas time, Melton has decided that she will file for divorce. When she delivers the news to Craig, he is distraught and tells her that he is determined to win her back. Skeptical, Melton instead turns her attention inward, attempting to heal from the trauma inflicted on her by Craig and her failing marriage. She starts seeing a therapist and going to yoga, where she has a realization about stillness and the importance of feeling grounded physically as well as emotionally. She comes to understand that she has spent her entire life running from loneliness and that this fear has held her back in many ways.

Over time, Melton comes to recognize that she needs to find it in her heart to forgive Craig for his actions. Her therapist suggests that she should try to slowly reconnect with Craig physically. They begin the courting process all over again, going on dates and taking things slowly. She and Craig learn to connect on a physical and emotional level like never before, and Melton finds that this time when they have sex, she feels that it is a true expression of love and emotional intimacy.