The greatest experts at making friends are dogs, who give affection and friendship at the drop of a hat. They focus on you. An analysis of phone conversations, on the other hand, shows that the most popular word is “I”. Everyone is interested in themselves, but if they’re not interested in others, they won’t make many friends.

The great magician Howard Thurston insisted that the secret to his success wasn’t his skills, which many magicians shared, but that he always prepared to go onstage by intoning “I love my audience. I love my audience” (54). US President Theodore Roosevelt was popular among his aides and servants because he took an interest in their lives and always greeted them by name.

Genuine admiration can move even the most hard-to-reach successful people. Carnegie and his writing students prepared letters to several prominent fiction writers, expressing appreciation for their work and asking if they would share their methods with the class. All the students signed the letters; the great writers responded by coming to the class and speaking. The author similarly got famous politicians, including

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